walk a tightrope or ride a rollercoaster

I am an interesting person.

I find the stars have their own personalities and I like my coffee both ways- cold & hot

I am not normal but who is? This world doesn’t have a normal I don’t believe but whatever that normal is I don’t fit into it.

My favorite color is maroon and so is his.

I am confused but he is not. I couldn’t tell you why I am confused actually. Sit down with my both ways coffee, I am confused because I am scared. It is beyond hard opening up. Not everyone can relate but somehow we have been burned and just in this one instance I want it to go right. Who is okay with things going wrong? Not me. Have I grown used to things falling apart? Yes. Because if I get upset I am not allowed. People think that showing emotions sometime is not humane or even right. We aren’t suppose to show the passion we have about something. Let it be, but when its all good we are allowed to show the happiness.

This, this I just want to be right. This is something that is new and strange and a whole lot of scary but feels not right and not perfect, but somewhere in between. You can find that happy medium of what I am feeling. It is impossible to explain.

I am a planner. I like to plan and its hard sometimes to go with the flow of life. I love it but its so hard sometimes.

I am strong in my faith. God has a plan and so do natural reasons but I know HE has a plan for me. Maybe you don’t think that but I do. Maybe you’ll accept it and maybe you won’t.

I have brown eyes. I think eyes are like the windows to that person. Tinted though. You can’t see in but they can see you. You can see the beauty of that person as much as they want you to see. I think your eyes are pretty cool.

I accept all thoughts and actions. Even if it isn’t right I guess I just take it. I know I should hold myself higher but I give people chances. Not a lot, but I do give them a lot. I am conflicted. I am in what you call the care too much club at this point.

I like flamingos and sloths. Those are cool. Pineapples are my favorite pattern and I swear I say rock on too much. I like my “hipster” lifestyle. I wear lots of rings and bracelets and flannels and thats me.

No matter where someone is in my life. I hold them truly near and dear. No matter the pain they have build me up. Everyone has been apart of my life and are apart of my story.

I only like my dads poached eggs. Try to make them better?

I love waffles. I am not a picky eater.

I don’t know how to fall for people but I have before and when I fall for people I fall hard.

I love conversation about life or dumb things like to dogs necks hurt when they look up. Or how do stoplights turn from red to green suddenly when you stop, are there sensors in the bottom.

I like what people tell me. I like peoples words straight up.

I find meaning in everything even though I hate foreshadowing and all that dumb English stuff. But I love writing and I love English. Weird right.

I want to travel. I want to live out west near Lake Tahoe or Cali.

I love vinyls and my record player even if its me dancing and listening alone.

I like keeping in touch with people.

Yellow cars make me anxious that aren’t suppose to be or those Mary Kay cars. When I am the patient at the doctors I understand to be calm but I am always anxious. When I am shadowing a doctor I think it is so cool.

There is no way to explain things to me sometimes. Its the little things that add up. Like playlists. Composed of songs but overall amazing. Now that’s not me saying I am amazing just thats how I think of me built. Each song something different. Like each character trait of me. You know small things like walking a tightrope or the bigger picture of up and downs of a rollercoaster.

until next time

xoxo, laur



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